“Find a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life”.
Confucius couldn’t have been more right with this notion, and what job can you love more than staying at home and raising your own children, playing ball with your son or helping your daughter dress her favorite doll?
Stay-at-home dads have been increasing in numbers and are more common than ever, especially in Western cultures and countries like Canada, the UK or the United States.
As fixed gender roles started becoming less prominent in the late 20th century, more and more women are progressing into higher-paying jobs and with the growth of telecommuting, many dads are able to work from their homes or quit their jobs entirely so they can stay at home and pay their undivided attention to their kids and be the main caregiver of the household.
According to a survey carried out by a Fortune Magazine, out of the 187 participants, one third of the women’s husbands were stay-at-home dads.
However, it’s not all roses. Like every other job out there or like any other life situation, being a stay-at-home dad has its advantages and disadvantages. For all of you who are prone to “grass is always greener” attitude, here is what being a stay-at-home dad actually entails.
Advantages
There have been many studies on the importance of the paternal role in child’s life. It is shown that infants between 7 and 30 months respond more favorably to being picked up by their fathers.
A long-term study Dr. Kyle D. Pruett conducted proved that a father’s active involvement with his children, from birth to adolescence, promotes greater emotional balance, stronger curiosity and a stronger sense of self-assurance in the child. There are also advantages for the lady of the house.
The stay-at-home dad arrangement allows the mother to work without having to use a daycare or hire a nanny. Free from this kind of stress the mother is free to actively pursue their career. It puts sound mind for the mother not having to worry if her child is at a safe place or in capable hands. When it comes to the dad, he gets to spend more time with his children, bond with them and have an important role in their childhood.
Disadvantages
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While being a most fulfilling job a dad can have, it is certainly the hardest. It can feel more lonely, frustrating and thankless than any other job you have had in the past. Every child is different and the job changes as the child grows, and sometimes you won’t have the necessary support provided by the partner.
Also, depending on the country or the region, a stay-at-home dad might find less social support for his decision. In some regions traditional roles prevail and this new vocation might be looked at as degrading and dads might be shunned from some social circles.
Many worry about losing business skills and their professional “place in line” and there is a fear that stay-at-home dads cannot get a job and therefore must rewrite the typical family roles. This decision may be difficult for men who feel as though they had no option. It is hard for these men to adapt from being a financial provider in the family to being a homemaker.
Being a stay-at-home dad is getting more and more common and it is certainly one of the most beautiful vocations a father can choose. On the other hand, it does have its ups and downs, much like a toddler who is just learning to walk, but after all, life is all about the journey, not the destination.